The Smell of Gunpowder: There are two kinds of killing we are exposed to daily and always from this criminal usurper.

While we are in the twilight zone between life and death, I find myself recalling my memories and remembering my life. 

I welcomed my birthday as we are stifled under the strongest, most difficult attack we faced in our combat history. I say our combat history because we, or at least I, have witnessed many wars and aggressions that the sieged Gaza Strip has lived for many years.

Raji is the youngest of my siblings. My little brother is a sensitive and warm person. He’s ambitious and has a big dream to become a civil engineer. Raji loves life, soccer, and playing with our niece, Elia. 

Here I write to you with honest feelings and heavy emotions. I, like any person on this earth, have unfulfilled ambitions and dreams. Today I share my pain over education and educators. Oh how passionate I am about knowledge and learning!

We spent most of the day trying to prepare some food for the family. This took a very long time because we used firewood that takes time to light and can only accommodate one pot at a time. 

Since over 3 months ago, she has been counting the days waiting for this day. I swear she was counting them one day at a time, and asked me every day: “How much longer till my birthday?!”

I made some tea and the kids sat around me, as I was considering some activity we can do to reduce the repercussions of the horrific night before. 

My name is Naheel and I am twenty eight years old. I don’t know how much life or time I have left before my mission in this life is over. I would like to tell you parts of my story before I run out. 

This is the 22nd day of war. I’m used to helping people figure out their emotions and let them be. Today, I don’t know what to do with my own sadness anymore.